Is It Real? Or Just My Imagination?
Remember this scary experience from childhood?
You hear a sound. It’s not loud but it’s unfamiliar. Your heart starts to beat faster. You think you should go investigate but you’re scared. What if it’s something really bad?
Suddenly, the sound is gone, and the air feels familiar again. You feel calm and safe.
It’s like a magician appeared and waved a wand. “How did that happen?” you may wonder. The magician eyes you slyly and says, “Sleight of hand, my dear. Anyone can do it. Do you want me to teach you?”
All the Grown-Up Drama Goes Poof
As grown-ups, we experience the magic trick, too.
Perhaps you get yourself worked up about a conversation with a colleague that you fear will turn into a conflict. You even put off having the conversation to avoid the conflict. Then you think, “How ridiculous, just do it!” And all at once the tension is gone, the conversation goes smoothly and you even have a laugh together.
How does that happen?
It's the paradigm shift.
And you can make the paradigm shift happen with 3 simple techniques.
Shift your thinking with life changing results—let conflict dissolve and stress disappear. Live your life with more ease.
Want to know how?
Magic Trick #1: Believe that shifts are possible.
When we’re deep in the storyline of our particular drama, it can feel like the only reality. But it’s only one perspective. There are others and you get to choose.
For example, a coaching client had convinced himself that his boss was out to get him. He had even concluded that he was about to get fired. Once he realized there might be other perspectives, he started paying attention to data that contradicted his previous conclusion. That set the stage for…
Magic Trick #2: Recognize the drama as drama.
There was a time when I traveled frequently for work. I often had to get up very early in the morning, not my preference. While setting my alarm to rise at an ungodly hour, I developed an elaborate story about how tired I would be, what a long schlep it was. I worried that I would be unable to perform at the level I held myself to. (poor me, poor me). Before I went to bed I’d convinced myself that tomorrow was going to be a disaster.
Then one day, poof, the drama was gone! I’d realized that drama is completely optional. I chose to drop it, reducing stress by about 80%. I still didn’t like getting up that early but it became something to tolerate rather than a catastrophe.
Magic Trick # 3: (This is a compound trick…your grand finale!) Figure out what you really want and decide what mindset would be most helpful.
Figuring out what you really want is not easy. It’s impossible if you haven’t done Magic Tricks #1 and #2. So, if you have trouble figuring out what you really want, go back and try them again. It’ll help you get some clarity.
Once you know what you want, ask yourself, “Is my current mindset helping me get what I want? If not, what mindset would be more helpful?”
Here’s an example: A coaching client was eager to realign her relationship with her father. She had avoided broaching the subject because of her story about how the conversation would end in disaster. Her avoidance had led her to mentally beat herself up for being an avoider. This made it even harder to initiate the conversation.
Finally, she became clear about the kind of relationship she wanted and how she wanted the conversation to go. This enabled her to shift her mindset from victim to someone with confident clarity. Poof! The drama was gone and the conversation went smoothly.
I’ll Believe It When I See It
“I don’t know,” you say, “That sounds too woo-woo for me! Change takes time. It’s hard work. Nothing happens instantly.”
That’s what I used to think until I started seeing these kinds of instant shifts with my clients. And the cool thing is there’s no backsliding. Most of the time you don’t even have to work at maintaining the new perspective.
But I don’t feel the need to convince you. Just try the 3 Magic Tricks on a challenge you want to see differently and see what happens. Make sure to share what you find out: these are secrets we want to pass on!