After a five-hour flight from LAX, Jim and I deplaned at Newark Airport for a layover. It was dinnertime, so we took a spin around the food court, trying to find something appetizing.
Not the Same Horse
I’ve recently gotten home from a California vacation. We spent three days at The Alisal Guest Ranch in Solvang. We’ve always loved to ride on vacation.
This time we decided to try the whole ranch experience (more like a four star ranch with spa, golf, tennis courts and jackets for dinner, but still a 10,000 acre working cattle ranch.)
Distraction Contagion
An “Intimate” Dinner for Two
I’m sitting next to Jim at our favorite neighborhood restaurant. We’re having a quiet dinner, just the two of us after a rough day. I’m looking forward to sharing my news and hearing what he has on his mind.
Just as I open my mouth to talk, that really annoying “ding” signals that he has an incoming call.
Telling Your Story: Fake it Till You Make It
Anybody who follows my blog knows I’m interested in how introverts can hone their leadership style. If connection is the “special sauce” of leadership, then it’s essential to do so in a way that’s authentic to you. Short of a total personality change, what can reserved people do to amp up the connection?
The Secret to Success With a Difficult Conversation
An Important Message for Reluctant Leaders
When Someone Comes to You With a Problem...
Maybe you’ve experienced a similar situation: A friend you haven't talked to in a while calls and tells you he recently sold his business and moved five states away to be with his girlfriend. He sold his house, most of his furniture and got a new job. Months into his new life, the relationship fell apart and he’s now faced with…what?
The Tortoise and the Hare
“What would you like coaching on today?” I asked Jonathan.
“Well, my team is working on an important project. Everyone wants this to succeed and we’re even aligned around how to make it happen. But a couple of team members are chomping at the bit to implement this in the next three months. The rest of the team believes we need to take it a bit slower. Everybody’s frustrated and it’s causing all sorts of tension.”
What's the Only Path to Wisdom?
The Power of Habit
I Don't Have Time for This
It was February of 1990. I’d just walked into my office after a long drive from a meeting in Connecticut. Picked up the phone to check voice mail. There were three messages from Jim’s office manager, Karen: “Please call me as soon as possible.” “Please call as soon as possible.” “Call me immediately!” This was years ago, before everyone carried cell phones and was instantly reachable.
The Power of a Quick Check In
Ever start a meeting and, pressed for time, you launch right into the agenda only to have the meeting dissolve into discord within the first fifteen minutes? There are certain practices whose pay off is far greater than the time invested in them. A quick check in at the beginning of a meeting or conversation is one of those.
Creating a Compelling Case for Change
Imagine this: Your team has designed an organizational change that will have significant operational impact. It’s a complex process and you’ve worked for months to get all the moving parts aligned. The deadline for rollout is fast approaching, you’ve run out of time, and you’ve pinned down the last details just under the wire. You all leave the final meeting exhausted but proud of your accomplishment.
Making a Connection: Easier Than You Think
Addiction: A Systemic Perspective
Sometimes, a piece of writing presents a view that is both so obvious yet so refreshing that it changes the way you think about an entire phenomena. Johann Hari’s recent article, The Likely Cause of Addiction, and It is Not What You Think, had that effect on me. Connection is a theme that has longstanding meaning in my life, yet I never considered addiction to be a disease of disconnection.
Self-Control: Limited but Renewable
Susan looked up at me with panic in her eyes when I walked into her office. “Oh, no!” she said dramatically. I thought she’d just heard about a major disaster. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “It’s 10:00, time for our appointment. I got in at 7:00 and I haven’t gotten anything done! I’m so overwhelmed, I can’t think straight. I was supposed to prepare for our session and I don’t even know what I want to talk about.”
“Why don’t we talk about this?” I said.
How Great Leaders Think: The Art of Reframing by Lee Bolman and Terry Deal
I'm reposting a beautifully written review by Michael Sales of an excellent and important book by two widely recognized consultants, researchers, and theorists in the Organizational Learning Field.
Leadership for Introverts
Altruistic Manipulation?
Before the holiday season is over, I'd like to share a video that left me with mixed feelings. I've always been a big fan of the work of Joseph Grenny and David Maxfield of Vital Smarts, the organization that has given us Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations, Influencer and Change Anything. Their work has provided a myriad of powerful tools to improve communication and bring about behavioral change.